Leadership and Parenting

Today we have an opportunity to provide unique leadership to our families and as I pointed out a few posts ago, we are leading them in one direction or another even if we aren't trying to. So let's talk about a few ways for us to be proactive leaders and parents given our immediate situation.

Positive Realism

It is so easy to allow fear and negativity take over. As parents, we are going to set the tone for everyone. If we allow ourselves to give into fear then likely our children will be afraid as well. If we can find ways to maintain a positive attitude in spite of everything that is going on, then our kids will see that as well.

While we need to work on managing the emotions associated with everything that is going on, we also should not be completely sheltering our families. I don't think we do them any favors by pretending the pandemic is not a big deal or by hiding the truth from them. Depending on the age and maturity of our kids, this is a good opportunity to teach them about how the world works. We can help them understand how our actions could impact others and how we can be good global citizens. So I think it's ok to talk about what is going on and share with our kids especially those that are old enough to be making decisions on their own.

How to Make Good Decisions

That leads into a third thought, something I think is the primary responsibility of any parent: to teach their kids how to make good decisions on their own. The older they get, the more they are going to make their own decisions, whether you want them to or not.

Sharing our logic for how we make decisions is one key. We also need to provide them opportunities to make decisions in a safe environment where there is plenty of support.

Helping Them Set Goals

I believe it is really important right now for each of us to have goal, especially goals that we can control. Without normal structure, it is very easy to allow the screen to raise or manage our kids, especially when we add in the burden of working from home when we may not be used to it. One of the ways to counter this is to help them set goals for the week. We did this yesterday as a family.

Each member came up with a couple of goals for the week and shared them with the rest of the family. That way we can hold each other accountable and be supportive of the goals set. I also shared my goals with them to set the example. This also eases some of the burden of constantly working with your tween or teenager on what they are doing (and by working with, I mean pestering them to do something besides social media, video games or entertainment).

Providing Some Structure

Anyone with teenagers know that if there isn't something for them to get out of bed for, they will stay there as long as possible. In the unique situation we face today, there may not be anything to really get them up and going. They don't have a start time for school and most likely have much less work to do. Top that off with no extra-curricular activity or friends to hang out with and it super easy for them to sleep all day and do nothing productive.

So in addition to setting goals yesterday as a family, I also asked everyone to identify how they were going to add some structure into their week and shared with them what I was planning to do. It's day one and I already see bumps in the road, but at least we are on a road and not drifting aimlessly.

Summary

These are just a few ideas and I'm sure there are a lot more. I want to reiterate that I believe the most important leadership we will ever provide is in the home. So whether these ideas ring true with you or you identify other areas to lead your family, what is most important is that you are deliberately leading. That will make a difference, in your life and theirs.