Phases and Transitions
There are a lot of transitions going on in my family right now. Almost everyone is transition to a new phase of their life and that got me thinking about the importance of recognizing the different phases in our lives and making needed adjustments. It also reminded me that as a leader, I can have a great influence on how those I lead manage their own transitions. So I thought I would share just a few thoughts on the topic.
Phases
Some of the phases we are transition to in my house are turning 16 (driving and dating), new jobs (two of us are going through that one), relocation, grandkids and facing the prospect of being empty nesters. Each of these new phases will bring with them challenges and opportunities.
Managing Through Phase Transitions
The first thing to realize about phase transitions is that each one is unique. Most of us will go through multiple job transitions in our careers. Each of them will definitely be different. So how I handle a similar transition to one you may be going through will be different and you may need to make different adjustments than those I need to make.
Second, just get used to the idea that most phase transitions are not going to go smoothly. There will always be something unexpected. Some of those items will be pleasant surprises and others will be things you wished you didn’t have to deal with. Be flexible as you transition so that you can deal with these unexpected surprises and challenges.
Third, after taking into account the first two items, build a plan to help you through the transition. Don’t try and nail down every single detail but lay out some general plans that you believe will help you make the best transition. Leave enough room to deal with the unexpected but don’t leave everything to chance.
Fourth, don’t judge the new phase for a while. I heard once not to judge a new assignment for 6 months. I think something similar can be said for most new phases of our lives. It may not be six months, but you do need to give it time before saying it’s good or bad. This is a general rule and if we ever find ourselves in a truly bad situation, we should not just think it will get better with time
Fifth, don’t expect to settle in immediately. These transitions take time before you can say things feel like your new normal. I have always said I need at least six months to re-establish our family budget or to settle our family finances after we buy a home, change jobs or make any other substantial purchases that have a significant impact on our finances. Because I plan for it, we can still stick to our budget while the new routine settles. If I didn’t plan for it, it would get crazy and I’m sure our budget would be very much thrown off.
Leading Others Through Phase Transitions
In addition to managing through our own transitions, as leaders, we have an opportunity to help others learn how to make these transitions as well. These are tremendous learning opportunities for those we lead and allow us to pass on lessons we learn while at the same time allowing them to learn the lessons that are unique to them.
There are a couple of keys to this. First, help them recognize when they are going to have a transition and plan for it. Second, provide advice and be a guide, don’t give them the entire playbook (your playbook for them may not be the best path and they won’t learn if you give them everything). Third, be ready to help them if they stumble.
As an example, let’s say you have a young adult moving out of your home for the first time. While you have tried to help them learn how to manage finances, keep an apartment, cook, do laundry, etc., they are still going to have some serious adjusting to do. Helping them work through their own budget and how much they need to save for rent, insurance, groceries, car payments is a great opportunity for them to learn. Now matter how well you do, just prepare yourself for the phone call that says “Mom/dad, I didn’t realize….”.
Summary
All of use with transition to new phases of life multiple times. Careers are no longer the one company and done. Most people don’t buy their first home expecting to live in it for thirty years or more. So the next time you have a transition coming up, or know someone that does, think about how you can make the transition just a little smoother and maybe more meaningful.