Benefits of Knowing Yourself
Do You Really Know You? Does It Matter?
This week I'm facilitating a workshop with a leadership team. I have been through these workshops in the past as a facilitator and participant, but this time I have gotten additional insight into the importance of understanding ourselves and those that are a significant part of our lives. That includes our teams at work and our other teams such as family, friends, sports teammates, etc. Without this information it is incredibly difficult to deliberately lead others and to follow those who are headed in the same direction we want to go.
Regardless of which personality assessment you go with (I'm partial to variations on Myers-Briggs) it's all about the information you receive and can refer back to as you tackle different challenges in life. Much of the information will be things you already somehow knew about yourself. At least you knew it deep down even if you weren't willing to admit to it. So most people look at it and just nod their heads. That means they miss out on the power of the information.
Benefit One - Understanding Ourselves Better
A good assessment will provide you with a report that you can use to understand various aspects of your personality type. I prefer assessment reports that help me understand my strengths and weaknesses in areas such as communication, conflict and decision making. I also benefit when I can look back at what may trigger stress. I like to have information that focuses on the workplace but is complimented by information that is applicable in all aspects of my life. The information will be clear and concise and provide me opportunities to act or at least be aware of how I may react in a particular situation.
As a leader, understanding my style is the first step to something even more impactful: understanding how my style may impact others. I'm an extreme "J" which means I really default to plans and structure. If I'm working on a team loaded with "P"s, I know that they are going to drive me crazy by not planning out every detail and I am going to drive them nuts by trying to organize everything. Knowing that information, I can take steps to mitigate my stress and the stress my style may place on others.
Benefit Two - Helping Others Understand Us
Let's continue on the J and P example. The other benefit to these assessments it so help others understand us. So in the example above, it's important for the entire team to understand how we each deal with structure. It is easy to assume everyone wants to plan out every little detail because that's what I want. Then, when they don't react positively to my request that we sit down and build a project plan for three hours, I wonder what is wrong with them. But if the team understands each other, it may be beneficial to both sides to take a different approach such as ensuring we are all on the same page. Then I take the assignment to put the plan together and share it with the team. In doing that, I adapt by recognizing that I won't get everyone to go through the details with me and they adapt by allowing me to develop the plan and doing enough of a review to sign off on it.
Just one last thought on this benefit - who is responsible for making sure other people understand you? You are. Don't expect others to inherently understand that you are an introvert and need time alone to process stress or information. You will have to help them understand that and you will probably have to discuss it with them more than once. Using the information from the assessment is a good way to sit down and have this discussion. It also lays the groundwork for continuing to build on that relationship in the future.
Benefit Three - Understanding Others
Once you really spend time understanding the concept of personality styles you can develop a sixth sense for the personality type of others as you start to work with them, even without them showing you their assessment results. It is beneficial for all members of a team to take the same assessment and review the results (the primary purpose of my workshop this week). If that's not possible, taking the time to understand your style in depth and the others in general will give you a significant advantage in building effective relationships.
I have also found this is also very beneficial in my life outside of my career. Family, friends, other volunteers, etc. all benefit from having a better understanding of each other. When I was first married, I was a manger in a busy call center. All day long, I was bombarded with sounds and talking. When I got home, my extreme introvert style just wanted some quiet time. My wife is an extrovert and she was at home with our very young kids and doing day care for others. When I got home, all she wanted was adult conversation and interaction. Anybody see the problem here?
Knowing each others styes before we were months into this challenge would have allowed us to recognize the needs of the other. Recognizing those needs can then lead to actions that improve the relationship. Later in life, we figured out ways to get her social time and me down time. One way was for her to take the kids to visit family while I stayed home and read a book. That was great for both of us (and the grandparents). She got to recharge being around large groups of family members and I got to recharge with some peace and quiet.
Summary
People say that information is power. To me, it is if you can act on it. In this case, knowing more about ourselves gives us the chance to take more control of our interactions with other people. Rather than just letting a critical conversation just happen, we can prepare and act in ways that significantly increase the opportunity for all to benefit.
By understanding ourselves and others better, we have a much better chance of building effective relationships and teams. Those effective relationships are what help us keep the drive to achieve our goals. That makes this knowledge one of the most powerful tools we can have in our toolkit.
What’s Next
If this is a new tool you want to add to your leadership toolkit or you want to tune up or enhance existing knowledge, feel free to reach out to leadership@mtneboconsulting.com. I offer assessments (with full access to your report), personalized summaries and online or phone coaching sessions. Let's work together to develop a plan you can begin acting on immediately.
Additional Thoughts
No Right or Wrong Personality Type
Before talking about those lessons, it's important to understand that there is no right or wrong personality types. The first time I took an assessment, I wanted to so badly to be a different type. It just seemed to fit with what my goals were at the time. I was thinking about it the wrong way. I needed to better understand myself and then set my goals.
Types are Not an Excuse
I would also strongly caution you about using your personality type as an excuse. Great leaders will have a core personality type but they do learn to adapt and use all attributes and types depending on the situation. They do not excuse bad behavior because of their personality. If you are a leader that does that stop. If you are working for a leader that does, find someone else to follow.
Focus on Being Flexible and Adaptable
It's really hard to change the core of who you are. I'm referring to these personality types and behaviors, not anything else. It's more realistic to change how extreme you are in any given area and how well you can adapt and apply other types and behaviors. If you spend a good portion of your career, you will learn how to apply various attributes and behaviors but usually that won't change your default.
One quick example - I have always been an Introvert. I very much prefer to be at home reading a book or watching a movie than out at a party. When I go to conferences, I am completely exhausted by the end of the day. That's just the core of who I am. Over the last couple of decades of leadership experience, I have had a lot of opportunities to work on being more extroverted. Conferences, trainings, meetings, presentations, etc. all gave me a chance to be more extroverted. That did teach me to learn how to manage being more extroverted and now when I take the assessment, my scores are not nearly so extreme on the introvert side of things. I can definitely be extroverted when needed, but it is still exhausting and I always default back to introversion when stressed or when I need to recharge.
I have found that if you take an assessment in the middle of a major life change, getting married, having kids, dramatically different job, they may tweak slight. For me, I always end up bouncing back to a fairly common default.