Being a Deliberate Example

Does our example elevate others?

Last week I wrote about how my Grandpa Tony taught me about leadership through his example. Writing that post prompted me to think more about the power of examples when it comes to leadership and life in general.

Lesson One: We all set an example for others.

One thing I have realized about my Grandpa is that he never really thought about being an example or a leader, he just was. He isn't the only one. While we usually focus on parents, teachers, celebrities, athletes, etc. as examples, there is an argument to be made that we are all being watched and someone is going to follow in our footsteps regardless of the path we are on or the steps we take.

Lesson Two - Be Deliberate in Setting an Example

Since we are all examples, we need to be deliberate in the example we set. This means actively choosing to be the kind of person we want be. Grandpa Tony didn’t have to worry about this. He was just true to himself and did what was right and that meant that anyone who looked up to him was better for it. He elevated them as he lived his life.

Most of us, and I certainly include myself in this group, have to be more deliberate and think about how our actions may influence those around us. If I decide to get upset over something simple at work, what are the odds my staff won't think it's ok to do the same thing? If my kids see me be rude to my wife, they will think it's ok as well.

I have two fantastic sons and I believe one of the most important things I can do is help them understand how important their relationship with their wives will be. This has to influence how I act. Something as simple as opening a door for my wife to how we share household chores and handle difficult situations will influence them. My sons will most likelyl treat their wives the way I treat their mother so I had better make conscious choices about the kind of example I am to them.

I do want to be clear that I don't think we should live our lives worrying about how others perceive us. We need to be true to ourselves and not be hypocritical or do things for show. However, be aware that someone will be influenced by our actions and use that to make better, more deliberate decisions.

Lesson Three - Choose Our Examples

Not only should we be deliberate in being the kind of example that elevates others, but we also need to deliberately choose who we allow to be our examples. You can be in the highest leadership position possible and you will still be looking to someone else as an example. In fact, I think the best leaders could easily tell you who they look up to and in whose footsteps do they want to follow, at least in some area of their life.

Don’t waste time watching and being influenced that will not elevate you. No matter how appealing it may seem to chase after the popular celebrity, know where following they example may lead you and make a deliberate choice.

Leadership Tie In

As leaders, we need to become the kind of person we want to be and let who we are determine our course of action. If we focus on becoming, then who we are determines our actions and we are less likely to allow our circumstances or those around us who are on different paths to pull us in their direction. So before you can lead others, make sure that you are on the right path. What that path is depends on who you want to be and where you want to go.

My challenge to all of us is that no matter where our paths lead, let’s make sure we deliberately choose a path that will allow us to elevate others. Be the kind of example that someone can say made a difference in their life.

I want to be the kind of example my Grandpa was and I still have a long ways to go. But I’ll keep working at it, one day at a time.