Leadership Lessons from Grandpa Tony

Sometimes when you look back on your life you realize that there are individuals that made a huge impression on you. I was fortunate to know many of my grandparents. When I was born, I was the 5th generation on my mom's side of the family. My parents were both very young so I spent a lot of time with those grandparents and I have a lot of memories. Each grandparent influenced and helped me become who I am but today I want to highlight just one. There are a lot of things I learned from my Grandpa Tony. Over the last few years I realized how much he influenced some of the core leadership principles I try to live.

Lesson One: No matter what, you are setting an example for someone.

The way you live your life is an example so be deliberate in what that example is. Grandpa and I never had a conversation about leadership. Instead, he just lived his life and that was more than enough. I'll share some examples below that show the impact his life had on me and others.

Lesson Two: Family first.

Grandpa never missed a game regardless of the sport. Not only that, but there were very few practices that he missed. He was always welcome on the sidelines by the coaches and the team.

During the NFL season, Monday nights were special times. No matter what either of us had going on, we watched football together at his house. We would make a fire in the fireplace in the basement and have a Duck lunch. I think it might actually be called Dutch lunch but I've been told that I kept calling it a duck lunch and so that name just stuck.

I wasn't the only one that felt this way. Each of his grandkids had similar experiences. We all felt like we were the most important person in the world. I don’t ever remember him missing anything that was even semi-important.

Lesson Three: Make serving others a priority.

While the first two lessons are great in and of themselves, this one is probably the most powerful. I don't know that I have met anyone who served others the way he did.

When I was in second grade, he started volunteering in my classroom. His job was to read to the kids during reading time. Once he started, he just didn't stop. As he aged, his eyesight became a problem and he was no longer able to read to the kids. So they read to him. My sister remembers him volunteering to open the gym in the mornings before school and to supervise the kids that needed to come early.

Eventually he just couldn't keep going over to the school and once he had to stop, he was honored by the Governor of Utah for decades of volunteer work and the impact he made on the kids in that school.

Lesson Four: Be present and listen.

Lesson Five: Love those you serve. Love can overcome a lot of barriers.

In our town there was a care center where members of our congregation were responsible for facilitating a religious service in the center. I don't know how long he had that assignment but it felt like it was my entire childhood, at least up until he physically wasn't able to do it any more.

There were a lot of Sundays that I went with him to the care center. We would walk the halls and invite any that were interested to come to church. During these walks, I observed what I considered peculiar interactions. Let me explain.

Our small town was a coal mining town. That meant a lot of diversity from the immigrants that had settled in the area to work in the mines. The peculiar part of Sundays at the care center was how many people would talk to Grandpa in foreign languages. I was absolutely stunned that my Grandpa knew so many languages. He would listen, nod and then talk to them (in English). They would smile and I could feel the love there.

So here is the secret - Grandpa didn't speak anything but English. But that didn't stop him from listening and loving them. They felt the love. I felt it. And that overcame the language barrier.

In a future post, I'll follow up on some of these lessons but I want to end with one summary lesson.

Lesson Six: Let who you are define your actions.

Grandpa Tony let who he was define his actions. He did not let his actions define him. I have talked before about the need to be deliberate as leaders. Each action we take will have an impact on our lives and those around us. If we go with the flow and are constantly reacting, we are letting our actions define who we become.

This all seemed effortless to Grandpa because it all tied into the core of who he was. It is much more difficult for me. Because of him, I aspire to know who I am, who I want to become and let that vision define my actions. If I work on that for a few decades, maybe I'll be able to stand in Grandpa’s shadow. Until then, I’ll just keep trying to carry on the legacy he left me.