The Challenge of Focusing on What Needs to Be Done

“I just do what needs to be done!” A badge of honor right? Well, yes, no, maybe.

I was talking with a good friend the other day about some transitions both of us are facing in our lives. Some are personal and some are professional related. None of them are easy or straightforward and because of the way my brain works, I’m likely overthinking things. But my friend made the comment that many of these decisions are the kind that you should make earlier on in life (no comments about me being old). As we talked about this I had two thoughts:

• First was that goals and objectives change so we need to adapt and change with them. That’s a topic for another day.

• Second, was that one of the reason some of these decisions weren’t made earlier was that I was so focused on just doing what needed to be done. That’s what I’d like to talk about today.

All of us have responsibilities in our lives. Things that need to be taken care of, things that others need us to do, assignments, to do lists, etc. I was raised and taught that those things that needed to be done were the highest priority and that all of the other things (things I wanted to do, things that were fun, things on my bucket list, etc.) needed to take a back seat. That’s just the way things were. That doesn’t mean you never get to those things, but just that those things happen after the things that had to be done. Think about Saturday morning chores before heading out to play. This may not be a huge thing when it comes to small things on a day to day basis but when I think about major life decisions, events and careers, this philosophy can have some advantages and some challenges.

Here is the challenge I see. If you place too much focus on the things that need to be done at that point in time (you choose the timeframe) then you can easily get lost in only those things. While I do think you can lose sight of taking care of yourself, but you can also lose sight of the bigger picture, end up just going with the flow and sometimes you can even miss out on opportunities to let others do more and even help you.

Losing Sight of the Bigger Picture

One of the challenges most leaders (professional or family) face is trying to get to the bigger picture or more strategic things without neglecting those day to day activities that have to be taken care of as well. This is probably the best example of a struggle when you place too much focus on the things that have to be done (laundry, running kids to various activities, dinner, staff meetings, reports, etc.). Most of us could be overwhelmed with those things and never get to the bigger picture, and potentially more important, things like strategic planning, having that skip level with someone that has great potential, developing a new skill, stopping to talk with a neighbor who has been struggling, planning that family weekend that everyone has been asking for.

Bigger Career Picture

One of the traps professionals can fall into is focusing on what they need to do now in terms of their career vs. thinking about where it will lead them or taking a step back and looking at how what you are doing is affecting the rest of your life. I’ve talked about a couple of personal experiences on my podcast but they are worth sharing here as examples of what I mean.

One job that I had, I got super miserable and I knew that I was miserable. But it was a really good job, I was making good money and there were some potential future opportunities. I kept telling myself it would get better and I put pictures of my family right above my cubicle to remind me of why I was enduring. Eventually, the situation got bad enough that I had to leave.

Another example is a job I had managing strategic projects for an organization that had essentially put all strategic projects on hold pending a merger. This was interesting because there were still a few things I could do each week and for a while, I had a single project that basically I could do as much or little as I wanted on it. It seemed like I was learning, was able to support the family and really didn’t have a lot of pressure. What I didn’t see, because I was so focused on just doing what needed to be done, is how stagnant and complacent I was getting. Eventually the company downsized and I was part of that.

A third example and probably the most important one was a job where I was doing really well. I had some great leadership opportunities, was working on building up a brand new team and implementing some major changes that were making a huge difference. The company seemed to be growing and while I knew I was stressed, it seemed to be a more than fair trade off for all the benefits I was seeing. But because I was just focused on those things, I couldn’t see what was happening to my health and how it was impacting my family. Looking back I realize that every day I felt like I was going to war and I was not a pleasant person to be around, especially at home. I can also look back and see mistakes that I made that I would never had made under more favorable circumstances.

In all three of this circumstances, I was so focused on doing what needed to be done to preserve the status quo (financial stability, learning and growth opportunities and even some “easiness”), that I failed to see that those situations were taking me down paths that would absolutely not lead me where I wanted to go.

The other problem with how focused I was in those scenarios is that I didn’t realize that my dreams and values had changed.

Changing Values and Dreams

That’s the other downside to being so focused on what needs to be done right now. Early in my career I had dreams of one day running the company. I was on a fast track to maybe not be the CEO but to be part of the executive team. Then, after I left the one opportunity, I realized that titles weren’t nearly as important to me and that what I wanted was a challenge and something where I could learn and grow. As that second opportunity moved along, I was always looking for that next challenge or new thing to do. But I also realized that much of what I was doing still left me empty. I realized that I wanted what I was doing to matter more than just to the companies bottom line. The third opportunity, I thought I had the opportunity to really make a difference and transform an industry. The company was in a position to do so and I was in the right spot in the company to really move some things forward. But what I didn’t see is that my goals and values had changed again and that I was moving into this period of life where I cared more about making a difference at home and with my family than I did for the company. I couldn’t see that all the stress and pressure at work was completely counter productive to that which added even more stress (even though I didn’t realize it), which led to mistakes at work, which led to more stress, which….you get the picture.

If all you do is focus on what needs to be done now or today or this week, you might end up like me and not realize that your dreams have changed or that the path you are on now, the things you have to get done, may not lead you toward that new dream. That’s a difficult position to be in and it’s one that you may not even be aware of.

Other Challenges

There are a few other challenges that can become problems if we focus too much on just doing what needs to be done. One is that you may struggle to be deliberate in making key decisions that help you move down the path to your most potential or towards your goals and dreams. If you are just doing what needs to be done, it’s much easier to just go with the flow.

Another challenge that comes up is that you may end up taking on too much and that potentially means that others aren’t stepping up. The vehicle that our son drives got a flat tire last night. He just needs to take it over to the shop and they will fix it. Not a big deal but I found myself with some free time this morning and the thought went through my head that maybe I should just run it over. It needs to be done but that doesn’t mean that I need to do it. I did resist by the way. This is just a simple example but this can become a huge deal. Think about working from home and seeing the laundry that needs to be done or the lawn to be mowed. Think about that project at work that would use a little bit of extra organization or push. Think about that development assignment you gave someone and they don’t seem to be moving on it. These are all examples of things that need to be done but the question is, should you be doing them or allowing someone else to step up.

And one final challenge that comes up not only when we just focus on what needs to be done but anytime we get busy is that self care seems to take a backseat to everything else. I’ll take some time for me once I get through this super busy time period. I don’t have time to go for a walk. I have to eat lunch at my desk because I need to finish this assignment. I don’t have time to read a book or even take a shower because the kids are all over the place. These are all trade off we have to deal with on a daily basis and it’s so easy to say that taking care of myself is not something that has to get done. That’s not a good approach.

Think about this-if you don’t prioritize self care and burn out, what is going to happen to all those things that have to get done? Or if you are in the process of burning out, what is the quality of your work product going to be like? If you are the sole provider and work yourself to the point where you can’t work, where does that leave your family? These are all questions you should be thinking bout when we become too focused on just doing what needs to be done.

Wrap Up

This may also sound great on paper, but what is the real application for all of this? Well, you have to find a balance. Most of the things that we believe have to get done do have to get done. So you can’t just push them all aside and expect things to go well. But you do need to prioritize time to take care of yourself and to assess if the path you are on still leads to the future that you want to have. This has to be something that we are deliberate about.

If you are early on in your career, then start building this habit now. If you are approaching retirement, be deliberate about that next step. If you are somewhere in between like I am, take a minute to assess how this might apply in your life.

You may find yourself realizing that the path you are currently on is unlikely to lead you where you want to go. Maybe that’s because where you want to go has changed. Maybe that’s because at some point along the way you got off the path and headed in the wrong direction. The big question you need to ask yourself is “what can I do to get back on track or course correct”.

Going back to the question my friend asked me: “shouldn’t some of these decisions have been made a long time ago?”. The answer is yes. That’s easy. But the hard part was me stepping back and asking why. The answer that I’m both proud of and not proud of is that I was so focused on doing what needed to be done (providing for my family being the main one), that I didn’t see that my dreams or end destination had changed and that the paths I was on were not going to take me there. So now, I get to work on how I can course correct and get back on track and that’s going to be an interesting journey.

I hope that my experience will motivate others, especially those that are just trying to figure all this out, to be more deliberate and do more than just what needs to be done.